Feels Like Travel Back Time

Old couch in living room, hot tea with lemonade, magazine bought in Schipol´s transit, iPod played Teddy Picker by Artic Monkeys.

Aahhh.... Home!

Les Cayes in Portraits

Five pictures from short visit to Les Cayes, Haiti, December 2010.

I miss the moments.

The view from our front seat bus, on the way from Port au Prince to Les Cayes

The ´traffic´, Haiti style

The hidden beauty

In the middle of traditional market, on the way to Port Salud

The kids we met in Port Salud

Experience, travel, these are as education in themselves- Euripides.

I´m Connecting the Dots.

I am home.

Which road to go now? Oh, this is home already.

Nothing could beat the feeling of hugging mom deeply after nine months being away from her. Tears and joys collide into one another. I am happy, yes, but apparently it is not as easy as I thought before. Seriously it is not.

Before I decided to come back to Indonesia, some considerations appeared in my mind. Staying abroad, in my case was Lima, was definetely one of my best experience in life, ever. It was not only about being free because I lived by myself and made my own decision with no one involved on it. Heck no, it was way beyond that -post high school´s euphoria- reason. These reasons was the explanations why it was not easy to convinced myself : ¨Yes, now it´s time to go back to Indonesia!¨

Nine months living and learning  a lot while I was staying around South America, I had found the real me, the real part of me in which I was never aware that had been living inside of me.

I never admitted myself as a selfish and spoiled person. Back at that moments before I departed to Lima (November 2010), I identified myself as a super independent young woman. I had faith in me and my future, and I could say now actually that faith was such missing in a hole. The way I looked at others was very judgementals. I see diversities as something that I have to hide myself from, even though I supported multiculturalism. When I believe that something is right and the other is wrong, so I would tell to myself that I was right and people with the opposite´s perspectives were wrong.

I was very narrow minded, judged book by it´s cover, and… idiot.

El Trenta y Nueve Dias

I believe it is official now. Ayunda Afifa is such a faineant blogger. 39 days since my last post on June 29th about my sister, I haven´t post-write-draft anything at all. I could picture the dissapointment in the Blog´s God face, since we all (blogger) know and fully agree on the importance of ´day-to-day´ blogging.

Hear..Hear... :´(

In the first place, I would like to apologize for not being your trustworthy blogger. 

I have reason anyway (legally speaking, I defend myself now, ha!)

In case you haven´t know, I lost my laptop. My best friend since 2007, the thing where I undeniably commited my brain capacity into, where I saved my multimedia collections (my burger´s game, the one that released me from ´writing-thesis-self crisis´ was also part of it, remember!!), from which I learned how to type faster than when I was still using PC in my house (now you can tell I´m pretty fast on typing, ehm), and the gadget from where I befriended with many 21st century´s human invention (yeah, Zuckerberg, you named it), has faithfully gone with the wind. 

I felt irritated, frustrated, and degraded by the fact that I wouldn´t be able to write regularly like I used to do with my ACER´s laptop. But worst of all was I felt threatened by my own insecurities. The first week after I lost it, I kinda felt empty. in other words, I lost myself. I lost the way I used to fulfilled my passion in writing and paraphrase my perspectives into words. Sounds too much? It is personal feelings, I guess. It is not only about ¨losing laptop-which-you could simply just buy another one and type on it¨, but it is more into the historical values I had with my old laptop. 

Dear my Acer-super weird-laptop, I hope you feel happy now wherever you are. I miss you so much. I miss yelling at you when you couldn´t work effectively (the hundreds of errors that happened to you). I miss looking at you and thinking about the old days where I spent hours sitting-composing words-for my thesis. I miss the uncertain feelings whether to sell and replace you or not.

Rest in Peace, love. Even if you´re not dead yet, please, stay whoever you are. Stay error, the price that the stealer have to pay ;)

I am planning to write about several things this week, including the US debt woes (from my super amateur perspective, for sureeee) and my short visit to Chile. Later on, no more lazy blogger here!!!

Love from Lima,

Ayunda Afifa